We normally think of resistance as related to exercise in the form of weights, sets, and reps, or movements that impact the body on a cellular level to enhance/increase grow/stimulate muscle and develop strength and motor control. (I hope!)
This type of resistance is not even close to the definition I have in mind.
The resistance we are faced with every single day is the one that affects us the most and NOT in the same positive way that the exercise related “resistance” does.
This resistance is between our ears and is constantly keeping us from growing.
The resistance I am speaking of is where we cannot accept the effects/results of the decisions/choices we make.
You see, when we make choices in life 99.9% of the time we have certain expectations that go along WITH those choices.
We choose to stay up late
We choose to binge watch Netflix
We choose to not eat
We choose to not hydrate
WE CHOOSE THOSE THINGS, just as I am choosing to write this.
The problem enters when, as a result of OUR choosing, the results/effects are not in alignment with the ideals we have in our mind. Now, we may be unaware of those ideals we have in our mind or what the purpose of our choosing is. That means we should take time to develop, hone and discuss with ourselves what those ideally are and how to reach them. BUT, if we do know what they are and we are constantly making choices counter to that, resistance enters into the fold.
It is when there is a miscommunication from what you expected to what you received – it is praying for snow and getting rain, it is over eating during the holidays and EXPECTING weight to stay the same, it is staying up all night and EXPECTING to feel energized in the morning, it is giving everything in a relationship and EXPECTING your partner to provide you with the same, it is saving all the money in the world and EXPECTING to feel the happiness you desired it would bring, it is working your whole life towards the goal of being a doctor and EXPECTING it to be everything you thought it’d be, it is raising your children in the exact way you wanted to be raised and EXPECTING them to turn out better than you, it is being vulnerable to those closest to you and EXPECTING them to accept you…
To state it more bluntly: we become sad when we are not where we EXPECT to be in life.
The things that resistance like this makes you aware of is the fact that your expectations do not exist.
They do not exist.
The only thing that does exist is the feelings you have that are in disarray and disharmony with what you’d expect.
This “resistance” leads to the statement: I am stressed.
You are stressed, why?
Because choices you made led you to EXPECTATIONS you THOUGHT would bring more pleasure into your life but brought the opposite?
That doesn’t seem like stress, that seems like a choice you made.
Furthermore, how can stress be affecting you? Stress does not exist out there in the world. Stress didn’t punch you in the back. Stress didn’t keep you from eating. Stress didn’t keep you up all night. The choices you made led to certain feelings in your life that caused disharmony within you which you are then led to be “stressed”.
Do you see how that works?
Additionally, if you are “feeling stressed” the mere awareness of you stating it should bring attention to the fact that somewhere in your life you’ve made choices that are affecting you in an unfavorable way which is a valuable INSIGHT into your life in order to reduce the “STRESS” and prevent it from occurring in the future.
Do you see how that works?
Resistance like this then leads to its favorite cousin called resignation. Resignation is the acceptance of your place in the world as a person unable to understand and overcome resistance.
How does one overcome resistance?
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.Lao Tzu